I've said love and light a million times and a couple of friends already asked me what it means. Well, to simplify things, its similar to namaste, a form of greeting in the spiritual community. And of course you know how photosynthesis works, right? Light creates form and that "love" sort of binds it together to continue giving life.
So.. Why this spreading of love and light thing? Well, let's just say the past year/s' been pretty rough for me. Looking back, I think i've exhausted myself a little too much. Have you heard of the saying "It's both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply"? I can relate to that in so many levels of my life. Too much and you're damned, they say. But then again, I never believed in half-assing your emotions and holding back on kindness. I guess I was / is a giver. But from time to time, a good friend would remind - no - reprimand me to love myself and check on my well-being and sanity too. Because how can you give if you're exhausted and you don't have anything to offer?
So.. I guess I overdid things but I still don't regret a single thing. Instead, I look back on them as lessons - for the times I said Yes, when I really wanted to say no, for the times I apologised for what I felt, for the times I did things not aligned with my core beliefs, for the times I let friendship/s fall-out and for the times I gave up on me.
It exhausted my being and I had to step back, rethink, refocus and reshape my life.
Inhale, Exhale (deeply)- I chose to forgive. I forgive the people who - rejected, neglected, took advantage etc. and people who wanted to "hang-out" then left you hanging in the end. And above of all, I chose to forgive me.
I welcomed the eve of my birthday laughing my heart out with my bestfriend. Then, I woke up to a funny serenade from mama and our angels at home. Mama also managed to sing at top of her lungs while trying her best to hold my cake and take my picture at the same time. I received a funny voice message from the best artker in the world. Received tons of beautiful messages both online and offline. Somehow, the universe is reminding me of how much love I have around me and that things are gonna be okay - and it is still okay to feel deeply and to continue spreading kindness. BUT, it's not okay to compromise yourself for that. ;)
I'm supposed to be in the land down under. But then again, the universe had a different plan for me. On my 28th, I received the most precious gift - the gift of healing (this deserves a different post ;)
And now, as you read this message, either you Googled, or took the time to click and read through this loooong emotional post, I am thankful that you took the time and I am honoured that you are a part of my life. I hope this serves as a reminder that everything happens for a reason eventhough the reason doesn't always manifest. Just trust - and by trust, I mean total surrender that things are gonna be okay. Because eventually, everything connects.
No more holding back, no more half-assing, no more apologising for being you - because there's a universe inside of you waiting to have fun, dance and fly!
I'm sending you tons of love and light to brighten up your whole being and I hope you give it back to someone else too! :)